It's a boy!

We found out yesterday that we're definitely having a boy. I know some ultrasounds aren't very clear, but our little exhibitionist turned around and flashed us so clearly that D & I saw the outline of his testes & penis well before the nurse pointed them out.

So yeah- Damian Orion is due on February 2nd.

I won't pretend that I'm not a little disappointed- I've always wanted a daughter, and known for years that my first child would be a girl, but these results also weren't a surprise because I've been dreaming for months about the baby and he's always been clearly male-sexed.

Of course, this means that the vast majority of the clothes on our registry will be coming off. Between my friends and my next-door neighbor, we're going to be giving away clothes!

Registry advice needed

We have two different registries up now:

Our primary Amazon.com registry with everything we currently want

and the Target registry my relatives requested since they don't like online shopping.

However, Target's site is currently being infuriating, so here's no link at the moment.

Parents, please take a look through these and tell me if there's anything you couldn't live without that we've missed, or something there that you just never once used.

Be aware that the following items are missing because we've been told we're receiving them as gifts already:

• A pack'n'play
• A breast pump
• Dr Bronner's Natural Flow bottles

Lastly, please don't start shopping yet, unless it's for the stuff we'll need no matter what, like diapers. There's still some stuff we'll be receiving from friends that may come off the registry before we formally release it.

There was a lot of screaming...

I have the terrifying and amusing feeling that I may be having a conversation similar to this in February:

Snagged with pleasure from The Devil's Panties (It's not Satanic porn, honest)TM

Please?

Ok, I get it. My body is building another whole human being and that's a lot of work.

I also probably don't eat enough, so my body is probably pulling from its own (meager) stores to do it.

I get it.

But can I please stop feeling exhausted, vulnerable, and needy now?

Mrr?

Mississippi Ballot Initiative Would Define "Personhood" at Moment of Conception, Potentially Outlawing Abortion, Birth Control, and Emergency Contraception

So does this mean that in the ~10% of spontaneously aborted pregnancies, the mother could be charged with manslaughter because her body rejected the embryo?

Au Pairs & Biligualism

Obviously, this is wayyyy out of my current budget, but it's something I've been giving thought to.

I'd like to raise our child at least semi-biligual... and I'm not talking about episodes of "Dora the Explorer". I speak rudimentary German, and the research seems to show pretty strongly that bilingual children develop greater neural pathways for things like reading, critical thinking, art, etc.

Moreover, we're going to need childcare and I'm not wild about most daycares. There are a few great ones, but they're wildly expensive and rarely bilingual-friendly.

Does anyone have any experience with au pairs or thoughts regarding them?

Bragging on D for a few minutes

Yesterday was my birthday. I'm 27 years old.

10 years ago, I figured I'd be married, have a house, a career, and kids.

I guess I'm running a little behind, but I'm on track.

Anyway. On to the bragging:

D spoiled me from the moment we woke up to falling exhausted into sleep, asking almost nothing for himself.

He made me biscuits and applewood bacon, which we had with my favorite tea blend and his Mamaw's homemade pear preserves.

Then we did a few things around the house together before he took me to the Yellow Daisy Festival at Stone Mountain, where he wandered with me all afternoon looking at local crafts.

(No, this wasn't quite the monumental sacrifice it would be for some guys... D was as into some of the blown glass, stoneware, furniture, and food as I was!)

We left there and killed a couple of hours wandering around Whole Foods, getting an early dinner and trying goat's milk ice cream for the first time- surprisingly good, once you get used to the richer taste, and a healthier option for ice cream cravings.

He cooked, cleaned up, drove, opened doors, and generally was a perfect gentleman all day. It was glorious.

Finally, it was time to see "The Help", which was both enjoyed, and finally I went home to a leisurely massage and being tucked, boneless with pleasure, into bed.

I am very spoiled, and very, very lucky.

Thank you, D.

Milking my Belly

This cool blog post talked about the author 'milking her belly for all it's worth'- which is to say, in most cases, accepting the help that's offered as a result of her pregnancy.

#1: Someone gave up the coveted front seat of my building’s shuttle today, and instead of thanking him and moving along I graciously accepted. That extra leg room was much appreciated.

#2: When I was walking through the city my shoelace came untied. I stared at it sadly and then just kept walking. A man saw the untied shoelace and offered to tie it for me. I was shocked he offered, and even more shocked that I accepted. Sneaker-tying one month out from your due date is not easy.

#3: I rest things on my belly, like the remote control and my cell phone. Having your own personal table is really fun, especially because it means I get to control the remote all night. Sorry, hubs!

At the end, she asks:

Do you play the pregnancy card, or am I the only scoundrel out there?

Even before my own pregnancy, I considered behavior like this normal. I have watched (and helped) my 7-8-9mos pregnant friends struggle with 'simple' tasks like tying their shoes, loading groceries, etc, and it always seemed to me to be a given that you help someone who is pregnant.

Now, almost 5 months along (but still not really showing, dammit!) I gratefully use my pregnancy when I need help:

"Would you mind moving downwind from me while you're smoking, please? I'm pregnant."

"I'm sorry, I can't commit to that event in December, I'd like to come but I may not be feeling up to it because of the pregnancy."

So far, I can still do my normal tasks- and most of my shoes are slip-ons!- but rest assured, when my belly makes movement difficult, I won't hesitate to accept your help!

What good questions did you ask today?

From this awesome blog post:

I saw an interview with Diane Sawyer recently where she said her dinner-table conversation as a kid was much different than those of her peers. Instead of asking “How was your day, Diane?” or “What did you learn?” her dad simply asked the same question every night:

“What good questions did you ask today?”

Yes, please and thank you.

The grossest useful information for a first-time parent ever

Babycenter.com's Complete Guide to Baby Poop

So yeah, I'm, um, a little behind on updating here

I went through another major period of, "Oh Goddess, am I actually doing this?!?!" that had me not really feeling like updating for a while. So you get a strong of short updates about specific parts of the last 2 months.

In general: I am starting to settle into the whole idea of being a mom, and how it's going to change my life. My current social life isn't family/baby/child-friendly, so that's a real change for me. Fortunately, D and I both have been getting more involved in our UU congregation- that's Unitarian Universalist, for those of you who have never heard of it. If you don't feel like clicking the link, the very basic unifying belief is that we don't care what you believe or Who you believe in- as long as you live that belief with an eye to making the world a better place.

Most importantly for us right now- aside from the fact that I'm a much nicer person when my spiritual needs are being met- like all 'churches', it's very family-oriented. That means free child-care on Sundays, other parents and grandparents with lots of great advice and suggestions and stuff they don't need (wooohooooo! free baby/maternity stuff!), and family-friendly gatherings where I can not only take the baby, but talk to actual grown-ups, something I'm given to understand I'll reallllly miss by about 9 weeks into having a newborn.

Relationship: D and I are also starting couples' counseling next week. We've been going really strong recently, as we settle into one another's communication styles, but I still like to have regular counseling because I consider it no different that car maintenance- you get your car checked out regularly and listen to the expert about how to keep it running well, right? Why would you be squeamish about doing the same thing in your relationship?

Doctory-stuff: We switched to a new midwifery practice- Intown Midwifery, for those in Atlanta- and we're pretty thrilled so far. At their monthly meet'n'greet, they pretty much said everything we wanted to hear:

-Birth is a normal experience- we're here to help you through it, not take it away from you, although we're prepared to help you through any potential complication

-We'll respect your birth plan and your feelings about drugs (in my case- 'I know they're there, I'll ask if I need them but otherwise don't offer them)

-We, and the hospital (Atlanta Medical Center) automatically offer lactation consultants if you've indicated interest in breastfeeding

-AMC offers water births and the midwives are very comfortable with them

-We will not take your child away from you right after the birth unless they medically require monitoring or you request it

-We do not perform routine episiotemies

Yeah... basically everything we wanted to hear- and they take the insurance I currently have! Woohoo!

Next week, since we missed it the last time, we'll be taking the Labor & Delivery tour

Physically: I can definitely tell I'm pregnant, and not just in the "OMG I can't eat anything and I'm tired all the time," way. My breasts are a full cup size larger, I don't fit in any of my regular pants (yoga pants are my best friend), and my belly is still small but hard and round.

Also, I feel full after 5 bites but hungry again 20 minutes later, and am starting to get heartburn if I lie down too soon after eating (<1hr).

Frankly, I'm still not physically enjoying pregnancy, but *shrugs* not everyone does and I refuse to feel bad about not being one of those sparkling, happy, glowing pregnant chicks.

My Pregnancy/Newborn Wish List- and I ain't talkin' 'bout Amazon.com

I realize lots of first-time moms feel like they absolutely need to do everything themselves.

I only learned pretty recently how to ask for help in non-baby-related stuff. Fortunately, for whatever reason, I haven't felt in the least shy about saying, "I don't know what in the HELL I'm doing and I need help!!" with pregnancy, and I'm not planning on that changing any time soon.

All of the good baby books make great suggestions regarding this, and it all boils down to one thing:

Everyone is going to ask how they can help- let them.

So, in that spirit, here's my newborn wish list:

• People to stay with us for whatever time their schedule allows who can help us take care of the house & baby (I plan on breastfeeding, which means every 2 hours I'm going to be stuck in one place for who-knows-how-long and constantly sleep-deprived, which is going to make things like laundry, dishes, cooking, and walking the dog nearly impossible)
• People willing to once a week or every other week, make a grocery run for us (this doesn't have to be out of your own pocket, although that would, of course, be an amazing gift)
• Magazine subscriptions and/or books off my wishlist, because I hate TV and there will only be so long I can spend gazing adoringly at the baby as s/he nurses.
• A subscription to a prepared meal service (Google for the cheapest one in the Atlanta area- there are a ton)
• A subscription for 2-3mos to a laundry service
• Other parents interested in babysitting swaps, maternity clothing pass-ons, family social gatherings (most of our current social life isn't baby-friendly)
• A second 'baby shower' near our due date for freezable meals like casseroles, soups, etc.
• People willing to get me the hell out of the house and away from the baby every once in a while (once the initial baby-NRE wears off)

Moms, dads, parents- what did you wish you had?