Why I Refuse to 'Hide' Vegetables

There's a movement in the last several years to 'hide' vegetables in kids foods: veggie chips in fun colors, low-sugar organic jam, grated cauliflower in the mashed potatoes....

This type of picture in my Pinterest feed tends to instantly set me
to foaming at the mouth. 

No.
No.
No.
No, and no again.

I will not hide vegetables from my child and let him grow up thinking that he doesn't eat vegetables.

Bonkers is almost 3 now, and he knows that we have a rule: you try one bite of everything on your plate. Period.
And if I know there's something he loves and will eat to the exclusion of everything else (macaroni and cheese, anyone? He is a toddler, after all), he gets a tiny portion of that, small-to-normal portions of everything else, and he can have more mac-n-cheese after eating the rest of the food.

If I were a good blogger, I'd look up scary-sounding statistics about children thinking they aren't eating vegetables going on to really not eat them as adults and getting various terrifying diseases, but I'm too lazy for that.
And frankly, it's the principle of the thing.
My son doesn't make my menu. We do not make 'second' meals for him. He can eat what we eat, or he can go to bed hungry. Do I mostly avoid foods that he hates? Sure, as much as I avoid the ones I hate, or that my boyfriend does. Do we all occasionally eat stuff we aren't crazy about?
Yes, because that's what polite people do when someone has cooked for them.

Bonkers has also learned that regardless of how one feels about a meal, one thanks the cook for making it.
Because someone put in effort to feed your sorry butt, and you can at least give lip service to appreciating it.

Does that mean I'm a strict, mean, failing-at-attachment-parenting mommy?
Maybe, but let me show you juuuuuust how much I care.
_
Ok, there it is. See that blank space in the line above? That's my care.

See, here's the thing:
Bonkers' first non-breastmilk food was my finger dipped in real Japanese ramen, homemade by the lady who spoke enough English to understand my thank-you and to tell me my 4 week old son was adorable.
He goes to restaurants with us and eats what we eat- we don't do kids' menus. He eats Korean barbeque, Ethiopian injera soaked with the juice from lega tibs, sushi rolls, and (non-spicy) curries.

If I let him, would he eat nothing but chicken fingers, macaroni and cheese, and french fries forever? Of course. He's 3. Toddlers are not known for their discriminating palates.

But I will be damned if I raise a child who thinks that he has the right to refuse the food made for him by anyone who went through the effort of doing so, for any reason short of impending anaphalaxis.

This is the same reason that, "Thank you," is a reflexive phrase in our house. Does he truly mean this short speech of gratitude at the age of 3? Of course not. Toddlers are, in their still-developing minds, entitled to everything they have ever wanted- much less needed.

Does that change the fact that he's learned that saying, "Thank you," makes Mommy smile and feel appreciated (and consequently, makes her a tad more likely to give him a bit more potato with his curry, and a bit less carrot)? Of course.

But in a world where both food flexibility and good manners seem to be sacrificed constantly on the altar of, "But let them choose," this is not a choice that my toddler gets to make.