I love my orthopedist, I hate my orthopedist

Have you noticed the level of ambivalence I'm feeling these days about, well, everything? Cuz I sure am. I used to be the most decisive (albeit usually objective!) person on earth.

(You'll see me say this a lot!)- Then I got pregnant.

Anyway.

I still have a titanium pin in my shoulder. Long story short, I broke my left collarbone back in January. It wasn't healing well, so they put a pin in it. It was when I was going in to get it removed that we found out I'm preggers. Yeah- timing fail.

So now I have a swelling uterus and a titanium pin in my shoulder.

This isn't, in fact, the best combination ever.

Fast forward to yesterday: my orthopedist calls me. He's been talking to radiologists and anesthesiologists, and he doesn't feel like he can guarantee me a safe surgery.

Um, dude? You couldn't guarantee me a safe surgery before pregnancy, that's why I signed that little waiver saying that I know that I won't sue you unless you fuck up for incompetence as opposed to normal risks of opening up my body and messing with my bones and muscles.

Fast forward to today. A (very carefully shielded!) x-ray later, he spend 20 minutes convincing me that it's safe to wait until after delivery to remove the pin.... which is, by the way, a complete 180 from what he said before we found out about the pregnancy.

Look, dude. I get that you're not an OB and you're terrified of hurting my child and I appreciate it. That you worry about my (and my child's) global health is AWESOME.

But my OB isn't worried, so I wish you'd stop freaking out. I've researched the chances, and with modern anesthesia and my own healthy system and complete lack of personal or family history of complications, it should be fine.

So we compromised. I have another appointment midway through the second trimester to check on it again, and if the pin looks like it's causing trouble, 2nd trimester is the bets time for surgery. if it looks fine, we'll know we can wait.

Frankly, I'm just not enthused about a surgery that severely limits my ability to use my left shoulder while taking care of a newborn. Because newborns don't ever need to be picked up and supported two-handed, or held with both arms, and I'm sure that I'll never, I dunno, nurse with the right breast and use my left arm for support....